Today was heavy. A levy on the verge of breaking. The pressure to race to the next was immense.

It didn’t start out that way. The momentum builds with each filled room. It seems it is just going to be one of those days.

Someone was screaming. Alarms incessantly ringing. Messages for each person to hear how busy we are sing overhead.

Priorities spoken aloud, ever changing for the nurses around. I’ll be right there. I’ll be right back. Pulled in too many directions to count.

The cacophony is muted to experienced ears only attune to the noises of a rhythm change. A crashing pressure. A frail woman seeking safety by climbing from bed. Her mind longing for a happier time.

The silent glances with another nurse will always be louder than any words ever spoken. The twinkle of laughter. The sorrowful eyes of defeat when our Maker a soul meets. Every emotion is felt within the walls that have seen it all. Joy, love, friendship, and camaraderie. Tears, sadness, stress and despair.

The glistening of a single tear when receiving a hug for a job well done. A thank you will do, but human touch is powerful too.

I hope I make a difference in some small way. A smile from a child. Wisdom shared by a centenarian on how life should be lived. I take it all in. I know the fragility of the world. It is on display in an indescribable way on the faces of those I am privileged to care for. I will never be who I was before. I am changed in ways that many will never know. Yet I always come back for more.

It’s time to go. The clock tells me so. It is time to leave the heaviness behind. I think about the day as I journey home. I may be weary but my caring must continue.

My family needs me. I anticipate the excited welcome I always hear just beyond the door.

I wonder if I can do it just a few hours more. Give of myself where it matters most. I can. I will. I will leave my nurse life at the lamppost.